Prompt from Idea Bank at Kludgy Mom: If you could live your biggest dream, no roadblocks, no holds barred, what would that dream consist of?
I'm the type of person who likes to have her cake and eat it too. I try and have everything and if I can't have it all, I stress because I want it.
I come up with crazy elaborate plans just I can have it all. But what worries me is that I really might not be able to have everything I dream of having.
Granted I'm not sure I want everything I dream of, but a while ago when I was in high school, I had a dream.
It was nothing like Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream but it was my dream nonetheless. I was sitting in a living room, with early morning sunlight streaming in the windows. I was at a desk, in a corner of the room, typing away on a laptop. I knew I was writing a story. Behind me, sort of in the middle of the room, was a baby play pen, the kind that folds down and has wheels for easy moving. Asleep inside of the pen was a little baby boy with blonde hair.
As I was typing away, a man sleepily dragged his feet across the carpet, rubbing his eyes. He stood behind me and leaned down to wrap his arms around me. "How's the story coming?" he asked. I didn't take my eyes off the screen or my hands off the keyboard as I said, "I got up to feed him and the story came to me. I couldn't get back to sleep anyway." He kissed me on the head and said, "Don't work too hard." Then I asked him if he could take care of the baby if he woke up so I could keep working because the story was flowing. He said he would and then wandered into the kitchen to make breakfast.
Now I don't know if that dream will ever come true exactly like that. But the feeling it gave me...the feeling of knowing who I was and what I needed to do and being able to do what I wanted to do, was amazing. I have often wondered what I would do with my life if I wasn't a writer. Every time I think to myself that I should just stop writing and figure out something else for my life, I get a tight pain in my chest and my brain screams at me with a thousand thoughts all exploding at once. I am a writer because I can't be anything else.
I don't need that exact dream, but I do need that feeling I got while I was dreaming. Safety, peace, security, a thirst for the story, a family that loves and supports me, and the discipline to actually sit down and get my stories written, get them out there. That is my dream.
I don't aspire to be like J. K. Rowling. She's a little too famous for my taste. I'd be happy with a small, loyal, following of readers who loves my stories as much as I do. So figure out what your dream is, and go for it.
As always, Keep on Creating,
K. A. Jairl
K. A. Jairl
My name is Kim and I'm glad you stopped by. This is where I post my triumphs and my downfalls as I fight the good fight of being a writer mom everyday.